10 Ways to Irritate Takashi Morinozuka
by skylarkz
Summary: What happens when the twins grow tired or Mori-Sempai's unreadable expression and lack of words? Rated T for sexual referenses. No pairings  although some are suggested


**Authors Note: Well, this story just randomly came to me this morning. I was reading some crackfics, and then I suddenly had a thought. How do you annoy Mori-Sempai? So, to find out, I wrote this fanfic! The H1 and H2 bit is a refference to B1 and B2 from Banana's in pyjamas (H1 = Hitachiin 1 = Hikaru. H2 = Hitachiin 2 = Kaoru). Anyway, enjoy the twins torture of the club's wild type. Don't forget to review aswell, or I shall send Hunny-Sempai after you with his awesome Karate and Judo skills!**

* * *

**10 Ways to Irritate Takashi Morinozuka**

It was an extremely boring day at the Host Club when Kaoru and I came up with the idea. Mori-Sempai had been more than boring lately, so we thought we might spice things up a bit!

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking H1?" he asked.

"I think I am H2!" I replied.

"LET'S FIND 10 WAYS TO IRRITATE MORI-SEMPAI!"

And with that, our game began.

* * *

**Number 1: Top or Bottom?**  
"Hey Mori-Sempai!" I called, walking over with my equally perfect twin to Hunny-Sempai and Mori-Sempai's table, where their last guest had just been.

"We wanted to know-" Kaoru started.

"If you're top or bottom?" I finished, my grin matching that of my twin. Mori-Sempai blinked, confused. Hunny's eyes went wide.

"What do mean Hika-Chan and Kao-Chan?" the small third-year asked, uncertain if he wanted an answer. We grinned.

"When things are getting heated in the bedroom between you and Mori, who's on top and who's on the bottom?" Kaoru and I asked together, huge grins on our faces. Mori's eyes went even wider, a tint coming to his cheeks as Hunny-Sempai asked if he would ever do such a mean thing to him. Kaoru and I laughed our heads off, walking away.

**Number 2: Mm**

Kaoru and I had no trouble at all copying Mori-Sempai's blank expression for our next idea. It was simple. We would try to be as boring as Mori-Sempai until he realised we were intimidating him.

"Hikaru, Kaoru," the Shadow King asked, looking up from his computer screen for a brief moment.

"Mm?" Kaoru and I said, matching Mori-Sempai's tone easily. Our expressions stayed blank, which was really hard when we noticed Mori-Sempai's eyes on us.

"Whatever you two are trying to achieve, I wouldn't recommend it," Kyoya said, pushing up his evil glasses as the light reflected off them for a brief moment.

"Hm," Kaoru and I said in the exact same tone. We both noticed Mori-Sempai's eyes widen out our half-word answer.

"Hika-Chan, Kao-Chan, this isn't funny!" Hunny-Sempai said, bouncing up to us with Usa-Chan in his arms.

"Mitsukuni," we simply replied, walking swiftly over to the bathroom so we could let our laughter out. I think that was the first time we've ever called Hunny-Sempai by his first name... also, we hadn't missed the way Mori's eye had twitched. This was getting interesting.

**Number 3: Cake**

"TAKASHI!" Hunny-Sempai cried, throwing his plate on the floor in a fit of rage, his cake staining the floor. "THIS CAKE IS HORRIBLE!"

Kaoru and I smirked. We had switched Hunny-Sempai's cake for a perfect paper-maché replica. Mori looked over to us once again.

**Number 4: Fairy Princess**

The next day, we arrived at the Host Club a lot earlier than usual. Today's theme was going to be medieval, so Kaoru and I had taken the liberty of switching Mori-Sempai's clothes with that of a fairy princess, then stealing all other clothes he could change into. Even Haruhi had to hold back giggles when he emerged from the changing room.

**Number 5: Diary**

The next thing Kaoru and I did was write a fake diary for Mori-Sempai, and then plant it in his bag so it would fall out easily. One of the girls picked it up and read the latest entry out loud.

_Dear Diary,_

_Mitsukuni looked great again today. I dream about him all the time, although it really sucks that he's always on top!_

_The twins are my next two favourite people in the club. If it doesn't work out with Mitsukuni, then I might have to date one of them instead!_

_Mmm,_

_Takashi_

I think I actually saw Mori GLARE at us for that, which just made Kaoru and I cry with laughter while the fan girls went crazy over a possible relationship between Mori-Sempai and Hunny-Sempai. Even Hunny knew the diary entry was fake.

**Number 6: Kendo?**

The next thing on our agenda was to announce to Mori-Sempai, and _only_ Mori-Sempai, that Kendo Club was cancelled for the day. We had a teacher tell him and everything (being extremely sexy twins with a lot of money is always the best way to bribe a teacher).

Let's just say the Kendo Club wasn't very happy with him.

**Number 7: Sex Ed**

"The Host Club is closed today, sorry girls," Kyoya said with a dashing smile, lightly closing the music room door before turning to glare at us. "What are you two up to? Mori-Sempai's profits are going down _considerably_ because of you idiots!"

Kaoru and I looked at each other, and burst into laughter. Poor, clueless Kyoya. I never thought I'd see the day.

Just then, Mori-Sempai walked in with Hunny on his shoulders. Time for irritation number seven.

"How did the talk go Mori-Sempai?" Kaoru and I asked together. Mori-Sempai glanced at us, rolled his eyes, and walked over to his usual couch, _ignoring_ us. Big mistake.

"Did you learn a lot Hunny-Sempai?" Kaoru asked as we walked over to them, trying to keep his face serious. I matched his expression exactly.

"Learn a lot about what?" Hunny asked, completely clueless. We grinned.

"Well Mori-Sempai told us all before school started not to laugh at you if you asked us any questions," I said with a soft smile to hide my smirk.

"Because apparently he told you about the birds and the bees last night," Kaoru finished, still matching my expression.

Mori-Sempai glared at us, his expression so cold it would freeze a blizzard.

"Hikaru, Kaoru, stop being such idiots," he said bluntly, getting off the couch and walking towards the pantry where Hunny's cakes were stashed.

**Number 8: Alarm Clocks**

It was great being friends of Mori-Sempai, because we were instantly allowed inside when we went over to his place. Apparently he was over at Hunny-Sempai's at the moment, but we were allowed to sit in his room until he returned.

This was _perfect_, because Kaoru and I planned on setting Mori-Sempai's alarm clock for three hours earlier so he would be sleepy in the Host Club the next day.

When we got to his room, we closed the door and walked over to his alarm clock. It was set to go off at five thirty, so we set it to go off at two thirty, grinning widely.

We had planned to wait for his return, but then realised that it would be extremely boring, so we excused ourselves and asked Mori-Sempai's brother to tell him we stopped by. The next day was hilarious!

**Number 9: Mobile Phones**

The next day at Host Club, Takashi Morinozuka was clearly more talkative than usual, complementing each girl he saw and even commenting on how cute everyone looked in their commoner cartoon costumes. We knew that we wouldn't be able to tease him or annoy him until the girls had gone, but when they did leave, Kaoru and I got out our mobile phones, pretending to text each other, and videoed Mori-Sempai in his hyperactive state.

"Wow Hunny you look so cute in that little suit I just wanna take you home and eat you up like a cake!" Mori declared with a huge, hyperactive grin. "Speaking of cake, can I have some of yours?"

With those words, Mori _stole_ Hunny-Sempai's cake (which surprised Hunny so much that he just stared, not even commenting on how strangely hyperactive his best friend was) and began running around, eating the cake in one bite and nearly literally bouncing off the walls.

"Wow this cake is the best! It's so sweet, just like Haruhi!" Mori cried, beginning to bounce on one of the couches. Even Kyoya looked shocked. Even sleep deprived, Mori-Sempai wasn't _hyperactive_... It probably had something to do with the huge amount of sugar Hunny had given him beforehand, mixed with his tiredness, creating a hyperactive Mori.

"Uh, Mori-Sempai-" Haruhi started, but was cut off when Mori pulled her into a huge hug, saying how special she was and that she was as sweet as chocolate cake.

"Takashi, are you really sleepy?" Hunny asked bringing over a blanket and pillow. Mori-Sempai shook his head, bouncing around on some furniture a bit more before collapsing beside us on the couch. And to think, we had all this evidence on our mobile phones.

**Number 10: Evidence**

When Mori-Sempai finally awoke, asking us what had happened before he fell asleep (having no memory of the day at all, apparently), Kaoru and I pulled out our phones and showed him the footage of himself, going hyperactive.

You could actually see the blood vessel in his head as he glared at the two of us, snatching our phones from our hands and throwing them against the wall, shattering them into tiny little pieces. Kaoru and I were suddenly really, really scared.

"What the hell have you two been doing these past few days? Are you trying to aggravate me or something?" the suddenly very evil Mori-Sempai hissed.

"We were bored," I shrugged. Kaoru slapped the back of my head, as if to warn me that that was the wrong thing to say.

"You... Were... BORED?" Mori-Sempai roared. Yep. He was defiantly mad. I gulped in unison with my brother. We were in for it now. Even Kyoya showed signs of fear at the irritated Mori.

"C'mon, it was only a bit of fun!" I said whilst shaking, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.

"You've done it now," Hunny-Sempai said seriously, running off to the side of the room with the rest of the Host Club. As soon as they were clear, Kaoru and I were being chased around the room, trying desperately to avoid the most evil thing in the room.

We ducked under tables, hid behind chairs, and even managed hide in the pantry before Mori-Sempai caught us by our collars, dragging us back into the room and sitting us forcefully down on one of the couches.

"Never, again," Mori-Sempai hissed, making us cower in fear. Then, just as suddenly as it all started, Mori-Sempai went back to his usual, boring self.

* * *

"Well," I said to Kaoru when we got home, sitting in out room with a box on our bed. "I think this list gets put in the NEVER half."

Kaoru nodded in agreement, placing the list labelled _10 Ways to Irritate Mori-Sempai_ in the box, labelled _10 Ways to Irritate different people_. There were two sides in this box. The _whenever possible_ half and the _never_ half. Only Kyoya-Sempai had made it to there until now.

"Well, at least it was entertaining," I laughed uneasily, placing the lid back on the box and placing it under the bed.

"Yeah, but now we're gonna be bored again!" Kaoru complained. I grinned suddenly.

"Maybe we could go over to Haruhi's house tomorrow?" I suggested. Kaoru rolled his eyes.

"You _always_ wanna go to Haruhi's house!" he complained, but was grinning anyway.

"Well that's because Haruhi is so fun to be around," I shrugged, unable to comprehend why I was suddenly blushing. Oh well, it didn't matter. If worst came to worst, we could always create a new list for the boss!


End file.
